From Recognition to Self-Trust

Recently, my colleague and I received some wonderful news — we were both promoted.

It was a moment meant for celebration — one that should have been overflowing with gratitude, joy, and quiet pride.

Yet as the days unfolded, something subtle began to stir within me.

I noticed who reached out to congratulate me… and who didn’t.

Each silence carried a weight I couldn’t quite name —

a quiet ache that lingered beneath the joy.

And in that delicate space between recognition and silence,

I began to make judgments — soft, fleeting ones —

but they revealed something deeper about where my sense of worth still lived.

When I shared this with my colleague, she said something that stayed with me long after our conversation:

“Why does it matter who congratulates you? The important thing is that it happened. I honestly don’t care if anyone congratulates me.”

Her words landed gently, yet they stirred something profound.

They made me pause — to reflect, to question, and to listen to the voice within that I often silence:

Why do I need acknowledgment to feel seen?

Why does my joy depend on someone else naming it?

That question followed me everywhere — in the car, during prayer, in the stillness before sleep.

And slowly, a quiet truth began to surface — one that had lived within me for years, unchallenged and unexamined:

I have been conditioned to need recognition.

To believe that worth comes from being seen.That success counts only when it’s validated.That being celebrated by others confirms that you are enough.

I grew up in a culture where praise was currency —where “well done” meant belonging,and being acknowledged became proof of your value.

But here’s what I’ve come to learn —true growth begins the moment we dare to unlearn what once defined us.

As I evolve — as a leader, a woman, a mother, a human —I’m realizing that external validation, while comforting, is fleeting.

It can never fill the spaces meant to be nourished from within.Because it lives outside of you —shifting with others’ moods, perceptions, and capacity to see you.

The kind of validation that transforms you is the quiet kind

—the moment you whisper to yourself, “I’m proud of me.”

That’s where peace lives.

That’s where freedom begins.

And that kind of self-trust isn’t built overnight.

It’s forged through awareness — through peeling back years of conditioning,

through learning to meet yourself with compassion instead of comparison.

So I am learning to:

• Celebrate without keeping score.

• Feel joy without comparison.

• Let go of judgments — of others and of myself.

Because the truth is, other people’s reactions are never a reflection of your worth — only of their perspective.

And that’s okay.

This experience reminded me that even now, my mind sometimes runs on old programming —

beliefs shaped by upbringing, culture, and expectation.

But awareness gives us power.

And with every conscious choice, we get to rewrite the script.

Today, I choose to lead myself with grace, not judgment.

To celebrate my milestones as sacred moments of becoming —

not as tests of who shows up to applaud.

To honour my journey, even in the quietest rooms.

Because true growth isn’t about collecting applause.

It’s about cultivating peace within.

It’s about remembering who you are beneath the noise —

and trusting that you are enough, even when no one else says it out loud.

The moment you stop needing others to validate your worth,

you step into your power.

That’s where self-trust is born.

That’s where authentic growth truly begins.

For that shift in perspective, I am deeply grateful —

to my colleague, for reminding me that wisdom often comes softly,

and to those who remained silent — thank you.

Your silence gave me space to grow.

Yours Alone

“Your value is not in anyone else’s hands. It resides within, waiting for you to reach and take it.” – Faiza Chaudhary